陆程文冷清秋 作品

第646章 论拍马屁的一百种标准格式


            

            
            
            
            
            
                白盟乙当然知道明地煞是谁。
                
            

            

            
            
                臭名昭著的九命妖狐。
                
            

            

            
            
                江湖中,最作恶多端的轮不上他,但是最招人烦的、最惹人讨厌的,绝对是他。
                
            

            

            
            
                当然,最难对付的,也是他。
                
            

            

            
            
                和他相比,自己真的是个小人物。
                
            

            

            
            
                明地煞看着白盟乙:“你刚刚骂我了?”
                
            

            

            
            
                白盟乙咬牙切齿,但是又打不过,只能道:“没有的事。”
                
            

            

            
            
                陆程文道:“噢!敢说不敢认是吧?大师兄,他刚刚是怎么骂师叔的!你给师叔学学。”
                
            

            

            
            
                一提这个,龙傲天可来劲了。
                
            

            

            
            
                终于……终于到了我爽的时候了!
                
            

            

            
            
                不仅可以栽赃嫁祸白盟乙这个王八蛋,还能趁机过过嘴瘾,骂这个狗屁师叔一顿。
                
            

            

            
            
                爽!
                
            

            

            
            
                龙傲天道:“师叔!我记得!”
                
            

            

            
            
                明地煞斜着眼睛看他一眼,说吧。
                
            

            

            
            
                龙傲天道:“他骂您是江湖第一祸害,江湖第一混蛋,江湖第一废物,江湖第一人渣!”
                
            

            

            
            
                明地煞看着白盟乙:“小子,你找死!”
                
            

            

            
            
                白盟乙道:“这不是我说的!”
                
            

            

            
            
                “就是!就是!就是!”
                
            

            

            
            
                龙傲天道:“他还骂您,头长得像鸡毛掸子,腰长得像是棺材板子子,俩胳膊就像是水泥管子,眼睛就是俩窟窿眼子……”
                
            

            

            
            
                赵日天看着龙傲天满嘴跑火车,整个人都惊呆了。
                
            

            

            
            
                龙傲天继续道:“他还说您是天生属黄瓜的,欠拍!后天属核桃的,欠锤!终生输破摩托的,欠踹!”
                
            

            

            
            
                陆程文给龙傲天鼓掌,心里默念:大师兄好文采,以前真没发现你这么能说。
                
            

            

            
            
                龙傲天说来劲了,撸起了袖子,口若悬河:
                
            

            

            
            
                “他还说,您是茶,他是水,他泡你!”
                
            

            

            
            
                “您是树,他是藤,他绕你!”
                
            

            

            
            
                “您是油,他是灯,他耗你!”
                
            

            

            
            
                “您是馅饼,他是饼铛,他烙你!”
                
            

            

            
            
                “您是玉帝,他是孙猴,他闹你!”
                
            

            

            
            
                “您是妓女,他是嫖客,他……”
                
            

            

            
            
                明地煞脸都绿了啊!
                
            

            

            
            
                “说啊,怎么不说了?”
                
            

            

            
            
                龙傲天撅嘴摇头:“我都不好意思说!”
                
            

            

            
            
                明地煞啪地给了龙傲天一个大嘴巴:“我看你说得很过瘾呐!”
                
            

            

            
            
                龙傲天捂着脸:“是他说的,我没说。”
                
            

            

            
            
                白盟乙冷眼看着龙傲天,冷哼一声:“地煞前辈,您功夫比我强,要杀要剐悉听尊便。白家的人,皱一下眉头就不是好汉!但是我不服!”
                
            

            

            
            
                “为什么不服?”
                
            

            

            
            
                “您和我差着辈分呢,实力也天差地别,您想欺负我一个晚辈,那随您的便。但是江湖中传出去,所有人都会说,你们天源门以大欺小!倚强凌弱!”
                
            

            

            
            
                明地煞十分困惑:“对啊,我们门派就这揍性,都知道啊!”
                
            

            

            
            
                白盟乙有些胸闷气短。
                
            

            

            
            
                继续道:“这件事传出去,江湖中人,怕是人人都会嗤笑您地煞公,你就会成为江湖笑柄!”
                
            

            

            
            
                明地煞看向陆程文。
                
            

            

            
            
                陆程文走到跟前:“师叔,您还有什么名声是可以失去的吗?”
                
            

            

            
            
                明地煞斜视天空四十五度:“好像没有了耶……对啊!”
                
            

            

            
            
                明地煞欣赏地看着陆程文:“你好聪明!”
                
            

            

            
            
                明地煞哈哈大笑,对白盟乙道:
                
            

            

            
            
                “白家的小子你给我听清楚!我明地煞混迹江湖大半辈子了!”